My boyfriend is so adorable. He’s growing me flowers instead of going out and buying generic ones. We also got out new puppy today, who’s name is Zeus, so I got to see my two sweet boys act silly this evening. So many perks of dating such a wonderful man.



if you wanna be my lover, you gotta deal with my



i love people responding to their pets’ noises with ‘i know’


im glad i dont have a thigh gap i almost dropped my phone into the toilet but i caught it with thunder and lightning


I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”


Sometimes when I’m singing that song, when it says “stay seventeen”, I say “stay seventy”. And you guys don’t even know the difference because it sounds the same, but inside I’m laughing, because I’m singing about grandparents. 
 -Alex Gaskarth


turns out a creampie isn’t a pastry and the internet is a disgusting place

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